Sometimes we need to get away from our own ways and risk it all. But fear of failure, of being laughed at and not being liked, or even and viewed negatively, can prevent us from pushing ourselves into the unknown and stop our progress towards acquiring new abilities, new skills and experiences in life.
It could cause us to decline invitations to try out new things and places and to take a chance or to speak at an event, because of fear or concern at what could happen. We can be unsure of ourselves or create a ‘what-if story. We may be unsure of what to say or do, and are concerned about appearing silly or worried about appearing embarrassing.
Others also have those worries and fears, and it can inspire and encourage them to have a go when they notice another person taking a risk without getting stuck in their own ways and not worrying too much about the potential outcomes.
People are generally grateful and encourage those who are trying and make an effort, so why don’t we consider taking a few positive steps, get rid of hijacking ourselves and relish the opportunity to step out of our home comfort zone!
Start small. When you start with one step at one time, you gradually increase your confidence. If you are afflicted by social anxiety instead of deciding to dine in a bustling ultra-smart and trendy restaurant, why don’t you begin by getting used to going out for breakfasts and coffees at the most high-traffic times of the day? Make sure you take things at your own pace, plan your own schedule and take a break from the crowd!
– Be comfortable mixing with a range of people and going out. If you’re scheduled to attend a meeting, interview or presentation, practice gathering a few bullet points and practise before a mirror or with an audience of a smaller size and supportive. Concentrate on the areas that you’re unsure about.
Be consciousof the way you speak to yourself. You’re probably our biggest critic and blaming ourselves in ways that we would never think of doing to other people. Instead, remind yourself that you can do it you want to, and that it’s worthwhile, that people aren’t as interested or invested in what you do as they can be; any way to aid in getting past the initial hesitations and doubts.
– address areas that feel neglected, which require a little help. Utilize this opportunity as the reason to make improvements to your appearance, dress and your appearance, improve your communication skills, or education. It may take some effort, but your effort will be repaid by enhancing your quality of life and giving you a sense of pride in the quality of your everyday engagements.
— Stay up-to-date to local information and the most popular TV shows, allowing you to make it easy to join conversations and interact with people. Ask people to answer ‘tame’ questions about their vacations or what they do with their time. These are generally secure ways to start conversations.
Utilize the helpof a supportive friend or family member, therapist, coach or mentor who is there for you and will encourage you often applauding your efforts but also giving you an encouragement to keep going. Be open to that happening and be open to constructive suggestions and feedback. It’s interesting to discover how differently others perceive us, as opposed to the way we view ourselves.
– Create a curious and engaged mind through doing something different and challenging every day and forcing you to think and get out of your comfort zone. It may be simply travelling in a different direction to work, cooking something you’ve never done before to eat for dinner. Find ways to fire up a positive, engaging and interesting attitude to life, and enjoy where it takes you.
– Value opportunities to say “yes”to invitations to try new experiences and relationships. Sometimes, even agreeing to participate in activities which may not seem appealing at first could lead to unexpected success as well as adventures. And sometimes , saying no can be positive too in the event that it keeps you from becoming overwhelmed and exhausted.
If we step out of our own way and stop worrying about how other people view usor how to keep them content. We stop looking at the easy choices in life , or justifying the reasons to do things. Moving with the flow lets us to be in the moment and feel enthusiastic about the possibility of trying. If you can get out of your way , you’ll be able to improve your day!
Susan Leigh, Altrincham, Cheshire, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist and relationship counsellor and writer who also contributes to media. She can assist with issues with relationships including managing stress, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individuals or couples and also provides group workshops and assistance.
She’s the author of three novels including ‘Dealing with Stress and Managing the Impact”, ‘101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday’, and “Dealing with Death and Coping with the Pain’. They are all available published on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and strategies to help you get more confident about your life.